Before I reveal just how horrible I am, let me note two things. One, I am married to a woman who agrees with you. Secondly, I do this because I know all too well the frustration of searching high and low in vain for employment that actually is creatively rewarding AND makealivingable on the vessel known as Craigslist. Rarely, do these requirements meet, and it’s in those heedy times when no one else is returning your calls in the “legitimate world” that one actually contemplates taking on a gig – something, anything – for free. You quickly sell yourself on a perceived gain – creative contacts, future employ, etc – and then immediately recoil once communication begins. Because let’s face it – someone, anyone, asking for the world without displaying a modicum of empathy is, for lack of a better phrase, a flaming asshole.

Last week, I openly mocked a post that fit all the parameters of what makes one’s Craigslist job query blood boil. And then in the comfort of my own employment, I decided to fight back, because in these times, I want to be everywhere. Wherever you can look – wherever there’s a fight, so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, I’ll be there. I’ll be in the way guys cry when frustrated. And when the kids laugh at their dads crying, I’ll be there, too.

And when I can’t be there, I’ll cast this year’s Academy Award winning duo of Jeff Bridges and Sandra Bullock to re-enact my email exchange with one Sade1. So without further ado, no grammatical tweaks and dedicated to you, d…THE WOOKIEE STRIKES BACK!

I’m offering you my time, if only to shoot a behind the scenes documentary on the making of your PSA. It will cost you nothing. In turn, I can only offer recognition.

What are you able to help me with. I need a dolly and gel kits are you able to provide those? It’s ok if you don’t but I really need it for the commercial this Saturday
 

Sade, I do have gel kits and a dolly, but would need to work out some sort of arrangement for compensation. If I do come and shoot the behind the scenes documentary on the making of your PSA, would you be willing to sign some portion of the rights to the PSA for the use of my equipment? Something in the neighborhood of 75-80% of any gross profits? Let me know.

Yes I’m open to give you some rights to the PSA that is ok with me. If you didn’t know by know my name is [Sade1]. You could reach me at [retracted] the shot is going to be started at 11:00 a.m. This Saturday at the address of [retracted] South 9th St.. I wanted to know if you still was going to give me a helping hand during the shot. I was looking to get some great carmera shots for the commercial so if you have any ideas call me. I’m would give you a copy of the script so we could figure out what would look nice on camera.

I’d call but I bit off more than I can chew of my tongue recently. Totally purposeful, but I’d make for a horrible conversationalist if I called you right now.

Just to clarify – I wasn’t planning on helping you to actually shoot your PSA, but rather, wanted to come document the making of the spot for a PSA of my own. I had assumed based on the last email that you had found your cameraman and special effect artist. I’m so sorry if that is not the case.

That said, if you still want to use my gels and dolly, and are agreeable to let me in on a portion of the backend profits, I’d totally be game. Do you have any idea of what you’d be able to sell your PSA for out on the PSA market. Trying to get a sense of what I could make for the rental down the road.

I don’t know who to sell it to. I really was not planning on selling it because I simply don’t have a clue who to speak to about doing that. If you know someone be my guess and give them a call.

So this then is just a personal PSA for yourself or were you going to show it somewhere?
 
 

on youtube that was about it to get some feedback
 

 

 

Well again, still very much interested in producing my own PSA about the making of your PSA, so I can definitely get my PSA crew to your location at 11 Saturday if in need of the recognition. I can also get you the gels and dolly if our lawyers can work out the backend arrangement.

You sent me that address on 9th Street – are you just south of E. Patapsco Ave?

Not sure where Patapsco Ave is but I’m right off South Street you can drive down South Street to 9th and make a left on the one way street, there would a light at the coner when you make that left continue up the street pass the light. In between the street is the house at [retracted] South 9th St. the house is on your left hand side. call because it’s an apartment. And I don’t have a lawyer so i don’t know what to say about that one.

Baltimore, right?
 
 
 

oh we have a problem I’m in Philadelphia, PA. I don’t know how my ad got in Baltimore, how did you found the ad. The location is in Philadelphia sorry…

Wow – you actually are finding people who will do this for free in Philadelphia?
 

yeah why you say that is there something I’m missing?
 
 
 

Obviously not. Best of luck!